i love my boyfriend. so much. yeah, we haven't even been dating for 4 months yet, but, we've been bffs for like 3 years. so he's already dug a up a nice little cozy place in my heart and buried himself in it; he's been chilling there for a while. i've honestly spent a lot of time questioning how "serious" we are. i stand by my theory that high school relationships are, more or less, a joke. but i'm not in high school anymore.. we're still together. and from what i see, we're not breaking up. not for a really long time, if at all. ( ^_^ lol) but, i used to wonder if it really was as "serious" as we were making it out to be. i always kinda thought i was the one that was more serious about it than he was, but now i'm not so sure.
we were on the phone last night for about three hours (that's like normal for us..) and we talked about a lot of stuff. i came to realize some things aftet that conversation. i was mad at him a couple of days ago; i got over it, but, still. i'm a sensitive gal, my feelings are hurt easily. *shrug* he still doesn't know that i was that pissed at him, or even why i was upset. but we didn't even bother going back to talk about it, because i had clearly gotten over it. however, he admitted to some things that he kinda held back from me for a while. nothing too serious, but i was kinda surprised when he told me.. and when he told me, i realized a handful of things: 1) he really does care about me; he doesn't want to see me running to anyone else because he wants to be the one i run to when something's wrong. 2) he's a lot more mature than people (including myself, sometimes..) realize. he doesn't keep little stuff bottled in, if he has something to say, he says it and gets it over with, and will want to resolve the problem if there is one. 3) i'm not that mature... i keep stuff in all the time, i sit and let my frustration fester until it gets the better of me. so maybe he is the more "serious" one..
we talked some more. and i let all of that sink in. he called me "babe" a couple of times, and my heart really was aflutter. [gag...] i then realized he has a way of making me smile even when i don't try/want to. i also realized he makes me act like such a female, which is gross...lol. later in the conversation, i realized that we know so much about each other. like A LOT. we're really open with each other. and i think he might know me better than anyone else; and that might be because he's the only one that i feel comfortable enough to let in on a lot of stuff in my life. or something like that. *shrug*
when we finally got off the phone, we were both tired as shit, so we gave a soft "i love you" and hung up. i had fallen asleep maybe twice while i was on the phone, but when i got off, i turned over, dozed off, and woke back up and couldn't sleep for a few minutes. and in that few minutes i thought about everything that i came to realize. and i smiled. and i kinda realized that, if anything were to ever happen with us where we wouldn't be together anymore, i think we'd still be the best of friends, because we know each other so well, and, on my end at least, i love him too much to ever completely give him up. i'm gonna miss him a whole hell of a lot when i go to college, man...
p.s. i get teary-eyed every time i read what he wrote in my "yearbook". :') love that kid..lol
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