pants.
what is the point.
lol serious question. what was the sole purpose of the invention of pants? not to say they're completely pointless, i just want to know, how did they come about? i enjoy not wearing them. many people enjoy the freedom. but i have to say, some people do need to keep themselves covered. >___> pants are a cool invention, though. like, they keep you warm, they hide your wobbly bits, they have pockets, which are always handy and dandy. but i feel like if pants were never invented, the world would be a whole lot less self conscious, and we wouldn't be so touchy about seeing people's unmentionables. i mean, underwear is an option to keep that all covered up, but why is showing a little leg such a sin? and some shirts cover stuff too. can we have a national no-pants day? and if we don't like it, we can all go back to wearing our pants.
now, this has nothing to do with my view on leggings. i don't condone the replacement of pants with leggings. it's all or nothing. you either wear pants or you wear nothing at all. except maybe some drawers. but people will wear leggings with a hoodie or a tshirt or something, and it makes me uncomfortable when i have to see the outline of their too-little drawers or when they turn around, there's this awkward tension when their crotch is all up in my face. that's not sanitary. i guess it'd be worse if we didn't wear pants at all...but still. it's all or nothing. if you want to keep it covered, put on some real pants.
that's all i ask.
peace and love.
rev rub.
lol
It's kinda cozy.
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Saturday, June 26, 2010
honestly
i'm gonna be real. i've been hella bitter since father's day. for reasons i don't fully understand, but i'll try to work through them tomorrow or something. i'm tired of people and i'm tired of being in this house. but i'm not tired enough to sleep yet.. >_> this is just a bad night.
Monday, June 21, 2010
dating a "loser"
on twitter today, a girl asked, "how come pretty girls date losers?"
my first response was that "non losers" are generally jerks. but, after tweeting my response, i stopped to think, all too late, maybe she meant "loser" in another way. like, you have your societal losers, that spend time worrying more about doing things with their lives than looking like an idiot and trying to be "cool" for the rest of the world. then you have your relationship losers, that suck as significant others for one reason or another.
here's my opinion of both...
the first set of losers, in my opinion, seems more dateable. this is because the suckers who think they're "cool" don't tend to look for a real relationship. i have yet to be proven otherwise. the "cool" bums want to talk to about seven girls at a time. where's the relationship? and don't give me that "one of those seven might be his 'main' girl" bullshit. she shouldn't have to be number one, she shouldn't have to compete at all. she should be the ONLY one. the "losers" aren't like that. they're willing to be stupid for somebody they have feelings for. that ONE person they have LEGIT feelings for.
the other losers suck. point blank period. their suckery varies. of course you have your liars, cheaters, backstabbers, and the ones that use people. then you get the ones that are just being nice. since when is being nice a bad thing, you ask? well, for one thing, and maybe this is just me thinking too hard, but, what if he's only being "nice" because YOU like HIM? like, what if he only bothers to treat you the way he does because he'd feel bad if he did otherwise. and then there are the guys who are just nice to everyone. a little too nice. the ones with a bunch of female friends, the ones that talk to her friends more than she does; and the shit's just ok. i mean, just having a few friends of the opposite sex before you even start dating the girl and then maybe being polite to her friends, just because they're her friends, is different than having a whole slew of groupies, half of which the girl doesn't even know, that you talk to all the time, and will willingly stop a conversation with your own girl to talk to one of them, sharing secrets and shit. do you expect your girlfriend to be comfortable with that? i promise you she's not, no matter how much she swears she is. the fact that you don't care makes you, sir, a loser.
girls, ladies, chicks, whoever you are, if any of this sounds familiar, chances are you are dating a loser, in some way, shape or form. proceed with caution.
my first response was that "non losers" are generally jerks. but, after tweeting my response, i stopped to think, all too late, maybe she meant "loser" in another way. like, you have your societal losers, that spend time worrying more about doing things with their lives than looking like an idiot and trying to be "cool" for the rest of the world. then you have your relationship losers, that suck as significant others for one reason or another.
here's my opinion of both...
the first set of losers, in my opinion, seems more dateable. this is because the suckers who think they're "cool" don't tend to look for a real relationship. i have yet to be proven otherwise. the "cool" bums want to talk to about seven girls at a time. where's the relationship? and don't give me that "one of those seven might be his 'main' girl" bullshit. she shouldn't have to be number one, she shouldn't have to compete at all. she should be the ONLY one. the "losers" aren't like that. they're willing to be stupid for somebody they have feelings for. that ONE person they have LEGIT feelings for.
the other losers suck. point blank period. their suckery varies. of course you have your liars, cheaters, backstabbers, and the ones that use people. then you get the ones that are just being nice. since when is being nice a bad thing, you ask? well, for one thing, and maybe this is just me thinking too hard, but, what if he's only being "nice" because YOU like HIM? like, what if he only bothers to treat you the way he does because he'd feel bad if he did otherwise. and then there are the guys who are just nice to everyone. a little too nice. the ones with a bunch of female friends, the ones that talk to her friends more than she does; and the shit's just ok. i mean, just having a few friends of the opposite sex before you even start dating the girl and then maybe being polite to her friends, just because they're her friends, is different than having a whole slew of groupies, half of which the girl doesn't even know, that you talk to all the time, and will willingly stop a conversation with your own girl to talk to one of them, sharing secrets and shit. do you expect your girlfriend to be comfortable with that? i promise you she's not, no matter how much she swears she is. the fact that you don't care makes you, sir, a loser.
girls, ladies, chicks, whoever you are, if any of this sounds familiar, chances are you are dating a loser, in some way, shape or form. proceed with caution.
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Twitter quotes, ftw.
some guy on twitter said this:
"in a bf/gf relationship you can't force your partner to be true with you! they have the ability to venture out and meet new ppl if they want"
how true is that?
how many guys agree with this? hell, how many girls do? i really want to take a poll..lol. cuz i can see both sides to that arguement.
like, if it's a cute little high school relationship or summer fling, you can't expect to much out of it. so maybe that does, and/or will, apply in that case. if anything, it's almost expected. if you're a little more grown, it makes sense, too; you're not married or anything, so technically, no one is getting wronged. you're just testing the waters, yeah?
but at the same time, i've got to say, i wouldn't be that comfortable sitting back and watching my bf go around talking to random people, it just looks wrong. and feels even worse. like, you call each other "boyfriend" and "girlfriend" for a reason, so there has to be some kind of commitment involved. it's like, when you have a favorite toy. you love that thing to death, you play with it, you sleep with it, you might tell it all your secrets [*shrugs*], whatever you do, that thing is yours, and nobody else's. then a friend comes over and wants to play with that toy. you were told that sharing is nice, but you know how your friend likes to take shit that doesn't belong to them, like that time that little snot stole your barbie last time she was over....anyway, would you want to share that favorite toy? i mean, it's just a toy, it could always get broken or thrown away or lost anyway. but it's YOUR favorite toy. you don't want to share. you shouldn't have to, there are plenty of other toys waiting to be played with, why do you have to share the one you want?
i actually would like to see what people think about this. if you actually pay attention to my blog, don't you wanna leave a comment? lol are you pro-venture or anti-mingle?
"in a bf/gf relationship you can't force your partner to be true with you! they have the ability to venture out and meet new ppl if they want"
how true is that?
how many guys agree with this? hell, how many girls do? i really want to take a poll..lol. cuz i can see both sides to that arguement.
like, if it's a cute little high school relationship or summer fling, you can't expect to much out of it. so maybe that does, and/or will, apply in that case. if anything, it's almost expected. if you're a little more grown, it makes sense, too; you're not married or anything, so technically, no one is getting wronged. you're just testing the waters, yeah?
but at the same time, i've got to say, i wouldn't be that comfortable sitting back and watching my bf go around talking to random people, it just looks wrong. and feels even worse. like, you call each other "boyfriend" and "girlfriend" for a reason, so there has to be some kind of commitment involved. it's like, when you have a favorite toy. you love that thing to death, you play with it, you sleep with it, you might tell it all your secrets [*shrugs*], whatever you do, that thing is yours, and nobody else's. then a friend comes over and wants to play with that toy. you were told that sharing is nice, but you know how your friend likes to take shit that doesn't belong to them, like that time that little snot stole your barbie last time she was over....anyway, would you want to share that favorite toy? i mean, it's just a toy, it could always get broken or thrown away or lost anyway. but it's YOUR favorite toy. you don't want to share. you shouldn't have to, there are plenty of other toys waiting to be played with, why do you have to share the one you want?
i actually would like to see what people think about this. if you actually pay attention to my blog, don't you wanna leave a comment? lol are you pro-venture or anti-mingle?
Saturday, June 19, 2010
job hunting?
alright. so i need a job. and i've been looking for one for a while now. and i can't seem to find one..
does anyone have any tips, hints, or tricks they want to pass on to me? do i need to apply in person more? is there any place in particular i should apply to? what do i need to do/know?!
i have a resume. i'm of working age. i have a high school diploma. and i'm a pretty nice person. i think. what else is there?
does anyone have any tips, hints, or tricks they want to pass on to me? do i need to apply in person more? is there any place in particular i should apply to? what do i need to do/know?!
i have a resume. i'm of working age. i have a high school diploma. and i'm a pretty nice person. i think. what else is there?
Thursday, June 17, 2010
something kinda serious.
today i'm gonna talk about race and education. and, yes, by race i mean black people..lol.
becaussseeeee, since i graduated, a lot of people have been telling me that i've accomplished so much because i'm an african american female that graduated from high school and is on my way to a good college with no babies or anything holding me back. thanks for the congrats and all, but there's something about that that makes me think a lot.
like, why is it that this has to be such an accomplishment? graduation is an accomplishment for anybody, i think, but, honestly, where i come from [meaning my school], graduating just makes you part of the crowd. it's an average, annual occurance that isn't that big a deal. but maybe, in retrospect, it is that big of a deal.
some people don't get this opportunity; a lot of people don't have it as easy as me. but let's focus on the african american community specifically.
many black people like to sit back and talk about what they don't have and how they're being held back from attaining the finer things in life or whatever. a lot of the time, when people think "black" their minds automatically go to "the hood" or something along those lines. i think that's because the majority of black people can and do relate to that image of such a "lifestyle". i don't want to flat out say that my people are lazy, but, i mean, i don't quite understand why so many of us are doing so poorly in school and on tests, and, in the long run, barely getting by in life, and not doing anything about it. it's not because we're stupid. hell, i got a 29 on the ACT, no studying, no prep, and it was the first time i took it. we're not idiots. i understand, some people may be a different type of smart, but that's not everybody. and it doesn't have to be. and a lot of people don't seem to understand that. i get tired of hearing people say, i can't go to college, i'm broke and i'm not smart and this that and the other.. look here.. community college is nothing to be ashamed of. if anything, they're more willing to help you than bigger colleges across the country. either way, so many colleges and universities are willing to hand out money to people, you just have to get up and ask for it. you can't sit on your ass and expect the world to give you handouts all the time. all you really need is a high school diploma and you can at least get a job. don't expect to make it as a basketball or football player or a big time rapper. that doesn't always work. what if you get injured? what are you gonna do with your life then? how are you gonna support your kids? [i won't say family, because there aren't enough men who are man enough to marry one of their babies mommas...sorry if that was rude...lol] and, i'm sorry, you may have the support of your friends and family, but not everybody is gonna like your music. prime example: soulja boy. he's a kid. he was hot for a little minute. truth be told, he sucks. all his music sounds the same. pretty soon, people are gonna be tired of hearing the same stuff. what does he have to fall back on when all of that is gone? don't drop out of high school to pursue music unless you know for certain you have something to fall back on.
[get ready for this. you knew slavery was about to come up eventually...lol]
our ancestors didn't get shipped, whipped, and slaved over to this place, and work their asses of to get the freedom they deserved for their children's children's children to let it all go to waste. generations upon generations ago, people were working and making sure they showed everybody else they deserved the rights, privelages, and freedom they got after so many years of going through shit for lazy mf's who couldn't make their own damn money. [did i say that?] but at the rate we're going, we don't deserve anything anymore. we're taking advantage of welfare payments, and we don't want to work for anything because we're too comfortable with not doing anything and getting that little bit of change we get just to get by. and white people are not keeping us down. we're keeping ourselves down. nobody wants to get up and do anything. i mean, you see all these other minorities all over the place. [forgive me if the following statements seem a bit racist... =/ ] i see hispanic and latino people all over the place, cutting grass, selling ice cream and churros, cleaning up after trifiling people who don't how to clean up after themselves... and who does your nails and sells you your weave? certainly not deja or lil boo boo from down the street. no, it's ming ming and her father. [sorry..]
whether or not they get that diploma, they're still working their asses off, getting they're money and making sure they earn their place in this country. we don't have it any easier now that we have a black president. things are the same. he's not changing stuff for just us, he's trying to change things for the betterment of the entire country. if anything, he is a prime example of why we should be working even harder as a race. if we want another black president, it won't be ray ray unless ray ray gets off his ass, stops "hustling" and takes his ass to school and learns some laws and how to articulate his words.
people always want the world to change, but won't get up and try to change it themselves. they sit and wait and hope someone else will do it. i'll do my part, but i really would like to see more people get up and do for themselves. no, i'm not saying this applies to EVERY black person. but there are too many that this does apply to. and i wish someone would reach out and tell somebody something.
"we gotta do betta!" lol
peace love and chicken grease y'all. :P
becaussseeeee, since i graduated, a lot of people have been telling me that i've accomplished so much because i'm an african american female that graduated from high school and is on my way to a good college with no babies or anything holding me back. thanks for the congrats and all, but there's something about that that makes me think a lot.
like, why is it that this has to be such an accomplishment? graduation is an accomplishment for anybody, i think, but, honestly, where i come from [meaning my school], graduating just makes you part of the crowd. it's an average, annual occurance that isn't that big a deal. but maybe, in retrospect, it is that big of a deal.
some people don't get this opportunity; a lot of people don't have it as easy as me. but let's focus on the african american community specifically.
many black people like to sit back and talk about what they don't have and how they're being held back from attaining the finer things in life or whatever. a lot of the time, when people think "black" their minds automatically go to "the hood" or something along those lines. i think that's because the majority of black people can and do relate to that image of such a "lifestyle". i don't want to flat out say that my people are lazy, but, i mean, i don't quite understand why so many of us are doing so poorly in school and on tests, and, in the long run, barely getting by in life, and not doing anything about it. it's not because we're stupid. hell, i got a 29 on the ACT, no studying, no prep, and it was the first time i took it. we're not idiots. i understand, some people may be a different type of smart, but that's not everybody. and it doesn't have to be. and a lot of people don't seem to understand that. i get tired of hearing people say, i can't go to college, i'm broke and i'm not smart and this that and the other.. look here.. community college is nothing to be ashamed of. if anything, they're more willing to help you than bigger colleges across the country. either way, so many colleges and universities are willing to hand out money to people, you just have to get up and ask for it. you can't sit on your ass and expect the world to give you handouts all the time. all you really need is a high school diploma and you can at least get a job. don't expect to make it as a basketball or football player or a big time rapper. that doesn't always work. what if you get injured? what are you gonna do with your life then? how are you gonna support your kids? [i won't say family, because there aren't enough men who are man enough to marry one of their babies mommas...sorry if that was rude...lol] and, i'm sorry, you may have the support of your friends and family, but not everybody is gonna like your music. prime example: soulja boy. he's a kid. he was hot for a little minute. truth be told, he sucks. all his music sounds the same. pretty soon, people are gonna be tired of hearing the same stuff. what does he have to fall back on when all of that is gone? don't drop out of high school to pursue music unless you know for certain you have something to fall back on.
[get ready for this. you knew slavery was about to come up eventually...lol]
our ancestors didn't get shipped, whipped, and slaved over to this place, and work their asses of to get the freedom they deserved for their children's children's children to let it all go to waste. generations upon generations ago, people were working and making sure they showed everybody else they deserved the rights, privelages, and freedom they got after so many years of going through shit for lazy mf's who couldn't make their own damn money. [did i say that?] but at the rate we're going, we don't deserve anything anymore. we're taking advantage of welfare payments, and we don't want to work for anything because we're too comfortable with not doing anything and getting that little bit of change we get just to get by. and white people are not keeping us down. we're keeping ourselves down. nobody wants to get up and do anything. i mean, you see all these other minorities all over the place. [forgive me if the following statements seem a bit racist... =/ ] i see hispanic and latino people all over the place, cutting grass, selling ice cream and churros, cleaning up after trifiling people who don't how to clean up after themselves... and who does your nails and sells you your weave? certainly not deja or lil boo boo from down the street. no, it's ming ming and her father. [sorry..]
whether or not they get that diploma, they're still working their asses off, getting they're money and making sure they earn their place in this country. we don't have it any easier now that we have a black president. things are the same. he's not changing stuff for just us, he's trying to change things for the betterment of the entire country. if anything, he is a prime example of why we should be working even harder as a race. if we want another black president, it won't be ray ray unless ray ray gets off his ass, stops "hustling" and takes his ass to school and learns some laws and how to articulate his words.
people always want the world to change, but won't get up and try to change it themselves. they sit and wait and hope someone else will do it. i'll do my part, but i really would like to see more people get up and do for themselves. no, i'm not saying this applies to EVERY black person. but there are too many that this does apply to. and i wish someone would reach out and tell somebody something.
"we gotta do betta!" lol
peace love and chicken grease y'all. :P
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
i found this on xanga, and i got to thinkin...
"I was talking the other day with one of my friends about college. I'm a junior in high school, and some girls I know have boyfriends who are seniors and who are graduating next week. My boyfriend is a junior so I don't have that problem, but my friend and I were talking about what we would do if our SOs was leaving for college in a month or two. Do you try to stay together, or just "let them go"?
I've heard of so many relationships being ripped apart because one of them is still in high school and one is at college. I've heard many opinions like people "don't want to hold their SO back" but they still want to be with them. I've also heard the horror stories of people being cheated on for months without their SO ever finding out.
That's just terrible. Is it easier to cheat when your in college? You're meeting new people and trying new things, maybe your high school sweetheart seems too young for you now? I don't know because this has never happened to me. But I'm curious about what usually happens.
Has anyone experienced this? Did you work through a long-distance relationship, or did you call it quits at least for a while? Could you see the break-up coming if that's what happened? Is it inevitable that a high school/college relationship could turn ugly in the long run? "
[alright yall. i have faith in our relationship and such, but, i'm also hella paranoid about everything in life, especially now that i'm going away. =/ idk how to feel about it, yo..]
I've heard of so many relationships being ripped apart because one of them is still in high school and one is at college. I've heard many opinions like people "don't want to hold their SO back" but they still want to be with them. I've also heard the horror stories of people being cheated on for months without their SO ever finding out.
That's just terrible. Is it easier to cheat when your in college? You're meeting new people and trying new things, maybe your high school sweetheart seems too young for you now? I don't know because this has never happened to me. But I'm curious about what usually happens.
Has anyone experienced this? Did you work through a long-distance relationship, or did you call it quits at least for a while? Could you see the break-up coming if that's what happened? Is it inevitable that a high school/college relationship could turn ugly in the long run? "
[alright yall. i have faith in our relationship and such, but, i'm also hella paranoid about everything in life, especially now that i'm going away. =/ idk how to feel about it, yo..]
MY friends
i love em.
especially Louis and Everett.
both of which i love equally as much.
the end.
;D
especially Louis and Everett.
both of which i love equally as much.
the end.
;D
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
dear mama...
woman...
i appreciate the stuff you do for nme, and all that, but look here...
i'm grown. enough... i'd rather not sit up in your house all day with nothing to do but clean. i'd like to go out and have a life... i don't feel like watching your kid EVERY DAY during MY LAST SUMMER AS A KID. [a grown kid...] i want to do stuff. why won't you let me do stuff!?
i don't know what you're gonna do when i go off to college. i understand you get tired, you have rough days at work, that happens, i get it. but everything can't be left for me to handle by myself. i'm tired. like, exhausted. i want a couple of days to take a nice nap, go out and chill with my peoples, and come home when i feel like it, without you calling and worrying about me every half hour, without having to scrub something first, and without having to hear about how i owe you for letting me go out. i'm not selfish for wanting to walk around the city, and coming home and being too tired to wash TWO dishes that i could easily take care of the very next day. this is why i don't even ask to do stuff anymore. every time i ask, i get grilled, and i get a list of things to do, and if i don't do them right when you ask--i'm sorry, TELL me to, i can't go, regardless of the fact that i may have taken care of it previously or that i CONTINUOUSLY take care of it, EVERY DAY.
and then you get mad at me for so much stuff. so much insignificant stuff. don't fuss at me cuz the cell phone bill is too high. i know how all my stuff works, and i know my limits. i don't have a lot, but i know what i do have. so it's not me. it's you and that dang iphone and your $743650756 smart phone plan thing. do not blame me for that. i've been using recycled razrs all year, because i don't want to ask for a new phone, because i know i'll owe you some labor... but when my phone doesn't work when i try to call you or you try to call me, don't get mad. just don't. the phone i have now fell in the toilet... but i'm not getting a new phone anytime soon...
if i need something, like toiletries, money for lunch/transportation, etc., don't get mad! i need that. and i certainly can't get it myself. i could try to get a job to get it myself, but, i guess that's not gonna happen now, cuz i have to watch SOMEBODY'S kid. -___- when i ask for stuff, you get mad. when i don't ask, but i totally need it, you get mad when you find out. i dont get it. what am i supposed to do?
if i'm hanging out with my people, on the very rare occasion that i do get to do so, i'm not gonna look at my phone every five minutes. i'll let you know when i get to where i'm going, and i'll let you know when i'm on my way home. if i need you, i will let you know. so chill.
if i'm sleep, don't expect me to wake up in high spirits ever if you are yelling down the stairs at me every few minutes.. if i don't have to get up until 10, don't wake me up at 6 cuz YOU can't sleep. get up and do something and let me wake up on my time... if i come up the stairs with a scowl on my face, don't get mad at me and call me evil.. i just woke up, what do you want me to do?! do a little "good morning" jig or something? put that attitude away and stop calling me evil...
if you come home from a bad day at work, stay away from me. i don't know how else to say it so that it's more polite...but just stay away. because you tend to take it out on everyone around you. and, i am your child, so you know, i don't play that. don't get an attitude with me over something petty, cuz i will get one back. and don't get mad when i do, because you snapped first. learn to realize that, cuz you do it often. and on the other hand, don't be too offended if i'm in a bad mood. it may not have anything to do with you, so i try to stay out of the way. but if you keep pestering me, yes, i will unleash some of that venom on you. you poke at the anger like an infected scab, and i really wish you would leave it alone so i can put some ointment on it... -_-
if i'm busy, i don't like to be inturupted. it's annoying. please stop. that is all.
i am not selfish, ungrateful, evil, stupid, irresponsible, or THAT lazy, so stop throwing those out at me when you get mad. sometimes they aren't all relevant, but you use them all at once anyway. i don't wash the few dishes in the sink, so now i'm lazy, ok. irresponsible...? whatever, i guess.. selfish? umm... evil?? come on now.. it's not that serious. it's never that serious. chill out.
no, i don't always want to spend time with you. because half the time i'm around you, you're mad about something. and that bad mood stuff is contagious. trust me.. so don't be offended when i don't wanna watch bridezillas with you [while you're playing farmville, btw, and talking about how sad you are because you might never see that day. keep up that attitude and you won't.]
stop hating my boyfriend. please. i understand, you are a parent, you are protective of me, and all that jazz. but please. some things i need to learn myself. like i said, if i need your help, i will call on you. otherwise, i got this. he's not doing anything wrong, and, you're not doing anything but making him hate you just as much. and it's getting ridiculous. and i need one of y'all to cool it. better yet, both of y'all should chill...
STOP going through my stuff. do not google me. do not spy on my twitter page. don't try to get through my blocked stuff on facebook. and don't get mad when i block you. i have the right to some privacy, you don't have to know/see EVERYTHING. especially stuff like this. if i get angry and need to rant, it's gonna happen. stop being so sensitive and suck it up. if i say i can't stand you, let me cool off and see what i say later on. i promise there's a 85-90% chance i'm not even thinking about you anymore. by then, i'll probably be tweeting about getting some food.
stop getting so upset when i don't say thank you for every single little thing, or if i don't say something super nice and sweet and all that gag-worthy jazz. that's not what i do. you should know that by now, i'm not that sentimental of a person. i will give you the sweetest greeting card in the world, i'll even write you a nice little letter if you want. but you're not gonna hear me verbally say these things. that's not how i do. i'm sorry, that's just the way it is.
don't yell at me when there's a food shortage. i'm not the only one in this house that eats. even so, i'm a growing girl. i eat. just let it happen. but i don't demolish everything in the house like you make it seem like i do. you're twig of a son? yeah.. he eats twice as much as me, and he's not even half my age. fuss at HIM. we just got a new box of apple jacks two days ago. and half the box is gone already? i haven't had ANY. i did demolish those fruit snacks, though.. >_>
i have plans, long and short term, that you're kinda messing up. i'm sorry if i'm inconveniencing you with my life, but that's what happens when you have a kid.. and at some point, you're gonna have to chill. i love you, thanks for birthing me, raising me, not killing me, and giving me everything you have. but i would like to live my life.
i appreciate the stuff you do for nme, and all that, but look here...
i'm grown. enough... i'd rather not sit up in your house all day with nothing to do but clean. i'd like to go out and have a life... i don't feel like watching your kid EVERY DAY during MY LAST SUMMER AS A KID. [a grown kid...] i want to do stuff. why won't you let me do stuff!?
i don't know what you're gonna do when i go off to college. i understand you get tired, you have rough days at work, that happens, i get it. but everything can't be left for me to handle by myself. i'm tired. like, exhausted. i want a couple of days to take a nice nap, go out and chill with my peoples, and come home when i feel like it, without you calling and worrying about me every half hour, without having to scrub something first, and without having to hear about how i owe you for letting me go out. i'm not selfish for wanting to walk around the city, and coming home and being too tired to wash TWO dishes that i could easily take care of the very next day. this is why i don't even ask to do stuff anymore. every time i ask, i get grilled, and i get a list of things to do, and if i don't do them right when you ask--i'm sorry, TELL me to, i can't go, regardless of the fact that i may have taken care of it previously or that i CONTINUOUSLY take care of it, EVERY DAY.
and then you get mad at me for so much stuff. so much insignificant stuff. don't fuss at me cuz the cell phone bill is too high. i know how all my stuff works, and i know my limits. i don't have a lot, but i know what i do have. so it's not me. it's you and that dang iphone and your $743650756 smart phone plan thing. do not blame me for that. i've been using recycled razrs all year, because i don't want to ask for a new phone, because i know i'll owe you some labor... but when my phone doesn't work when i try to call you or you try to call me, don't get mad. just don't. the phone i have now fell in the toilet... but i'm not getting a new phone anytime soon...
if i need something, like toiletries, money for lunch/transportation, etc., don't get mad! i need that. and i certainly can't get it myself. i could try to get a job to get it myself, but, i guess that's not gonna happen now, cuz i have to watch SOMEBODY'S kid. -___- when i ask for stuff, you get mad. when i don't ask, but i totally need it, you get mad when you find out. i dont get it. what am i supposed to do?
if i'm hanging out with my people, on the very rare occasion that i do get to do so, i'm not gonna look at my phone every five minutes. i'll let you know when i get to where i'm going, and i'll let you know when i'm on my way home. if i need you, i will let you know. so chill.
if i'm sleep, don't expect me to wake up in high spirits ever if you are yelling down the stairs at me every few minutes.. if i don't have to get up until 10, don't wake me up at 6 cuz YOU can't sleep. get up and do something and let me wake up on my time... if i come up the stairs with a scowl on my face, don't get mad at me and call me evil.. i just woke up, what do you want me to do?! do a little "good morning" jig or something? put that attitude away and stop calling me evil...
if you come home from a bad day at work, stay away from me. i don't know how else to say it so that it's more polite...but just stay away. because you tend to take it out on everyone around you. and, i am your child, so you know, i don't play that. don't get an attitude with me over something petty, cuz i will get one back. and don't get mad when i do, because you snapped first. learn to realize that, cuz you do it often. and on the other hand, don't be too offended if i'm in a bad mood. it may not have anything to do with you, so i try to stay out of the way. but if you keep pestering me, yes, i will unleash some of that venom on you. you poke at the anger like an infected scab, and i really wish you would leave it alone so i can put some ointment on it... -_-
if i'm busy, i don't like to be inturupted. it's annoying. please stop. that is all.
i am not selfish, ungrateful, evil, stupid, irresponsible, or THAT lazy, so stop throwing those out at me when you get mad. sometimes they aren't all relevant, but you use them all at once anyway. i don't wash the few dishes in the sink, so now i'm lazy, ok. irresponsible...? whatever, i guess.. selfish? umm... evil?? come on now.. it's not that serious. it's never that serious. chill out.
no, i don't always want to spend time with you. because half the time i'm around you, you're mad about something. and that bad mood stuff is contagious. trust me.. so don't be offended when i don't wanna watch bridezillas with you [while you're playing farmville, btw, and talking about how sad you are because you might never see that day. keep up that attitude and you won't.]
stop hating my boyfriend. please. i understand, you are a parent, you are protective of me, and all that jazz. but please. some things i need to learn myself. like i said, if i need your help, i will call on you. otherwise, i got this. he's not doing anything wrong, and, you're not doing anything but making him hate you just as much. and it's getting ridiculous. and i need one of y'all to cool it. better yet, both of y'all should chill...
STOP going through my stuff. do not google me. do not spy on my twitter page. don't try to get through my blocked stuff on facebook. and don't get mad when i block you. i have the right to some privacy, you don't have to know/see EVERYTHING. especially stuff like this. if i get angry and need to rant, it's gonna happen. stop being so sensitive and suck it up. if i say i can't stand you, let me cool off and see what i say later on. i promise there's a 85-90% chance i'm not even thinking about you anymore. by then, i'll probably be tweeting about getting some food.
stop getting so upset when i don't say thank you for every single little thing, or if i don't say something super nice and sweet and all that gag-worthy jazz. that's not what i do. you should know that by now, i'm not that sentimental of a person. i will give you the sweetest greeting card in the world, i'll even write you a nice little letter if you want. but you're not gonna hear me verbally say these things. that's not how i do. i'm sorry, that's just the way it is.
don't yell at me when there's a food shortage. i'm not the only one in this house that eats. even so, i'm a growing girl. i eat. just let it happen. but i don't demolish everything in the house like you make it seem like i do. you're twig of a son? yeah.. he eats twice as much as me, and he's not even half my age. fuss at HIM. we just got a new box of apple jacks two days ago. and half the box is gone already? i haven't had ANY. i did demolish those fruit snacks, though.. >_>
i have plans, long and short term, that you're kinda messing up. i'm sorry if i'm inconveniencing you with my life, but that's what happens when you have a kid.. and at some point, you're gonna have to chill. i love you, thanks for birthing me, raising me, not killing me, and giving me everything you have. but i would like to live my life.
Monday, June 14, 2010
sudden realizations in my relationship
i love my boyfriend. so much. yeah, we haven't even been dating for 4 months yet, but, we've been bffs for like 3 years. so he's already dug a up a nice little cozy place in my heart and buried himself in it; he's been chilling there for a while. i've honestly spent a lot of time questioning how "serious" we are. i stand by my theory that high school relationships are, more or less, a joke. but i'm not in high school anymore.. we're still together. and from what i see, we're not breaking up. not for a really long time, if at all. ( ^_^ lol) but, i used to wonder if it really was as "serious" as we were making it out to be. i always kinda thought i was the one that was more serious about it than he was, but now i'm not so sure.
we were on the phone last night for about three hours (that's like normal for us..) and we talked about a lot of stuff. i came to realize some things aftet that conversation. i was mad at him a couple of days ago; i got over it, but, still. i'm a sensitive gal, my feelings are hurt easily. *shrug* he still doesn't know that i was that pissed at him, or even why i was upset. but we didn't even bother going back to talk about it, because i had clearly gotten over it. however, he admitted to some things that he kinda held back from me for a while. nothing too serious, but i was kinda surprised when he told me.. and when he told me, i realized a handful of things: 1) he really does care about me; he doesn't want to see me running to anyone else because he wants to be the one i run to when something's wrong. 2) he's a lot more mature than people (including myself, sometimes..) realize. he doesn't keep little stuff bottled in, if he has something to say, he says it and gets it over with, and will want to resolve the problem if there is one. 3) i'm not that mature... i keep stuff in all the time, i sit and let my frustration fester until it gets the better of me. so maybe he is the more "serious" one..
we talked some more. and i let all of that sink in. he called me "babe" a couple of times, and my heart really was aflutter. [gag...] i then realized he has a way of making me smile even when i don't try/want to. i also realized he makes me act like such a female, which is gross...lol. later in the conversation, i realized that we know so much about each other. like A LOT. we're really open with each other. and i think he might know me better than anyone else; and that might be because he's the only one that i feel comfortable enough to let in on a lot of stuff in my life. or something like that. *shrug*
when we finally got off the phone, we were both tired as shit, so we gave a soft "i love you" and hung up. i had fallen asleep maybe twice while i was on the phone, but when i got off, i turned over, dozed off, and woke back up and couldn't sleep for a few minutes. and in that few minutes i thought about everything that i came to realize. and i smiled. and i kinda realized that, if anything were to ever happen with us where we wouldn't be together anymore, i think we'd still be the best of friends, because we know each other so well, and, on my end at least, i love him too much to ever completely give him up. i'm gonna miss him a whole hell of a lot when i go to college, man...
p.s. i get teary-eyed every time i read what he wrote in my "yearbook". :') love that kid..lol
we were on the phone last night for about three hours (that's like normal for us..) and we talked about a lot of stuff. i came to realize some things aftet that conversation. i was mad at him a couple of days ago; i got over it, but, still. i'm a sensitive gal, my feelings are hurt easily. *shrug* he still doesn't know that i was that pissed at him, or even why i was upset. but we didn't even bother going back to talk about it, because i had clearly gotten over it. however, he admitted to some things that he kinda held back from me for a while. nothing too serious, but i was kinda surprised when he told me.. and when he told me, i realized a handful of things: 1) he really does care about me; he doesn't want to see me running to anyone else because he wants to be the one i run to when something's wrong. 2) he's a lot more mature than people (including myself, sometimes..) realize. he doesn't keep little stuff bottled in, if he has something to say, he says it and gets it over with, and will want to resolve the problem if there is one. 3) i'm not that mature... i keep stuff in all the time, i sit and let my frustration fester until it gets the better of me. so maybe he is the more "serious" one..
we talked some more. and i let all of that sink in. he called me "babe" a couple of times, and my heart really was aflutter. [gag...] i then realized he has a way of making me smile even when i don't try/want to. i also realized he makes me act like such a female, which is gross...lol. later in the conversation, i realized that we know so much about each other. like A LOT. we're really open with each other. and i think he might know me better than anyone else; and that might be because he's the only one that i feel comfortable enough to let in on a lot of stuff in my life. or something like that. *shrug*
when we finally got off the phone, we were both tired as shit, so we gave a soft "i love you" and hung up. i had fallen asleep maybe twice while i was on the phone, but when i got off, i turned over, dozed off, and woke back up and couldn't sleep for a few minutes. and in that few minutes i thought about everything that i came to realize. and i smiled. and i kinda realized that, if anything were to ever happen with us where we wouldn't be together anymore, i think we'd still be the best of friends, because we know each other so well, and, on my end at least, i love him too much to ever completely give him up. i'm gonna miss him a whole hell of a lot when i go to college, man...
p.s. i get teary-eyed every time i read what he wrote in my "yearbook". :') love that kid..lol
Sunday, June 13, 2010
friends
friendship is an iffy topic. in this post, i'm not gonna ask as many questions as much as i'm about to point out a lot that i have observed.
let me start off by saying, i am 18 years old. i just graduated from high school. a good majority of my friends are 17. they are about to be seniors. my point? we are too damn old to still be acting like petty children when it comes to making and keeping friends. my way of thinking is: if i like you, i like you. if not, tough shit, we can go on about our lives like everything is fine, cuz it won't phase me too much if you're not around in my life. *shrug* but it's not that simple for everybody.
some people like to call like 1325234 different people their "best friends," but will be quick to get mad at any one of them without warning. like i said, we're too old for that. i feel like, if you're really friends with that person, take the time to talk that shit out, especially if it's some petty shit.
let me also say, i am guilty of just abruptly ending a "friendship" without warning. i think the thing with that one, though, was that it wasn't a real friendship. she was annoying, and i was just nice to her until she continually pissed me off. after a while, i just stopped being polite. she's not real to me anymore. i wouldn't put effort into maintaining something that wasn't there in the first place. so i think i'm okay.
however... people do other people so dirty. they will do and say the snakiest shit to their "friends." their friends will bitch them out about it.....but then they go back to being ok, only to have their friends do some dumb shit again.
now, there's a fine line between getting on your friends' nerves every once and a while, and just flat out doing them WRONG. i don't know about the rest of the world, but i feel like that's grounds for suspension, if you will.
i don't know. i guess what i'm ultimately trying to get at is this: know who your real friends are. snakery is never acceptable, and don't try to act like it is. and if you know you're ever in the wrong accept it, apologize, and if you get snaked by a friend who has no remorse about, they are NOT your real friend, so do NOT go back to being cool. ever. that defeats the purpose of separating your REAL FRIENDS from everyone else.
that is all.
peace and love, yall.
let me start off by saying, i am 18 years old. i just graduated from high school. a good majority of my friends are 17. they are about to be seniors. my point? we are too damn old to still be acting like petty children when it comes to making and keeping friends. my way of thinking is: if i like you, i like you. if not, tough shit, we can go on about our lives like everything is fine, cuz it won't phase me too much if you're not around in my life. *shrug* but it's not that simple for everybody.
some people like to call like 1325234 different people their "best friends," but will be quick to get mad at any one of them without warning. like i said, we're too old for that. i feel like, if you're really friends with that person, take the time to talk that shit out, especially if it's some petty shit.
let me also say, i am guilty of just abruptly ending a "friendship" without warning. i think the thing with that one, though, was that it wasn't a real friendship. she was annoying, and i was just nice to her until she continually pissed me off. after a while, i just stopped being polite. she's not real to me anymore. i wouldn't put effort into maintaining something that wasn't there in the first place. so i think i'm okay.
however... people do other people so dirty. they will do and say the snakiest shit to their "friends." their friends will bitch them out about it.....but then they go back to being ok, only to have their friends do some dumb shit again.
now, there's a fine line between getting on your friends' nerves every once and a while, and just flat out doing them WRONG. i don't know about the rest of the world, but i feel like that's grounds for suspension, if you will.
i don't know. i guess what i'm ultimately trying to get at is this: know who your real friends are. snakery is never acceptable, and don't try to act like it is. and if you know you're ever in the wrong accept it, apologize, and if you get snaked by a friend who has no remorse about, they are NOT your real friend, so do NOT go back to being cool. ever. that defeats the purpose of separating your REAL FRIENDS from everyone else.
that is all.
peace and love, yall.
disclaimer
this blog is not meant to be a way to talk shit to anyone. no, not everything i say is gonna be "nice," but it's all just off the top of the dome. if you're too sensitive to handle it, don't read it. it's that simple.
otherwise, enjoy :)
otherwise, enjoy :)
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