Sunday (38)

today is sunday. the one day a week people get up in the morning to wear fancy clothes to sit in a hot establishment full of other people in fancy clothes, that hoop, holler, sing, and shout their praises and thanks to a man they have never met or seen before, and, more or less, have no solid proof of his existence except for what a book tells them. when it's all over, the people go on about they're week doing things that same book tells them not to do. only some of those people actually take the time during the rest of the week to consider what The Man would frown upon if they did.

now before anyone starts telling me about myself and going on about how wrong i am, let me point out that i never said if i agreed or disagreed with all of this. i'm just analyzing it.

i am not a devout christian; i do not really follow any religion. but i'm not a straight up atheist. i don't know what i am except confused. i want to say that i believe in some higher power, but i don't know what it is that i believe in. i can't really get with the whole religion thing, though. i mean, i'm down with the moral aspect of it all. like, certain things are bad and certain things are ok, and i like that all of that gets laid out, with christianity, to be more specific. but i don't agree with the way a lot of other religions deal with things and their views and such. which brings me to another point.....religion is another reason for separation and that sort of thing. a friend of mine actually discussed this with me once [you're probably reading this, actually] and he made a valid point; religion has been the cause of several wars and stuff. which makes me wonder...how can something that says it's wrong to kill other people drive people to kill other people... i don't get that.
but when i think about the here-and-now of religion, it gets iffy to me. like, first of all, how did we come to exist? different religions have different answers to that question...but the truth is, there's really only one answer and no one is positive about what the answer is, because none of us were here to witness it, and it's not like anyone was there to take a picture of it to save for the rest of us to see. *shrug* i'm not gonna side with one religion and say everyone else is wrong. i don't even know who i'd side with. as far as christianity goes, i'm not so sure about the entire population of this earth being brought about by a random guy who took a nap and broke his ribs and had another human being sprout from that rib....isn't that magic? which is frowned upon in the bible, isn't it? hmm.. it's questionable..
i like the inspirational aspect of christianity, though. like, how everything bad that happens is like a test of character and strength and such. or how there's someone you can talk to in times of need. but then, i don't know if i'm willing to put all my faith into something or someone that i don't know anything about, never met, and have no proof of existence of.
so basically, i'm on the fence. like, everybody around me goes to church on sunday, reads the bible, KNOWS the bible, etc., but i don't. i don't disagree, i just don't agree, you know? maybe my opinion can be swayed? maybe people feel the same way i do?

♥

I am still a raisin in the sun, ragin' against the machine.

I want to be like Lupe Fiasco when I grow up.
I'm listening to Paris, Tokyo now. And this sounds so decent. But it's not the materialistic, being able to take a plane anywhere and everywhere when i feel like it, that i want when i grow up. although that has to be awesome, too. hell, i don't even want to be a rapper. i want to say things to people. i'll sing, i'll write, whatever, but i want to be someone like Lupe, in the sense that he's so well respected and influential. this man is only 28 and is regarded as one of the best rappers of this day and age. he JUST put out a third album, and damn near has the status of Common as a respected rapper. how does he do it?
he also got me into skateboarding..lol. how can there possibly be that much cool in one person? i don't know!
but yes. this is my random thought of the day. enjoy it.
i can't say what i really want to say, because i'd be revisiting some shit that i'm trying to let go of. and it's not working. but. whatevs.

44 DAYS UNTIL MOVE-IN DAY!!
[the official blog countdown starts today.]
i'm excited. and either people are trying really hard not to show how much they're gonna miss me, or people are really excited to see me go.
well deuces to you, too, jerks. :P

i'm growing up now, how about you?

if you read my blog, i appreciate it. but let me say this...if you read this to see what kind of shit i'm talking, or if your feelings have been hurt by what i say, or you feel like i'm talking about you, you can do a couple of things...
say something to me. don't talk shit. don't talk to anyone else. come sort it out with me. chances are, i'll apologize for hurting your feelings. probably won't take back what i say...but i might apologize. if i feel it's necessary.
or.
stop reading my shit. period. i don't know who all reads this thing. so i'm not gonna be careful and tip toe around words for the benefit of others. this is my blog, meaning i say whatever the fuck i want to say. strictly my opinions, thoughts, etc. don't try to correct me. don't even say i'm wrong if you're not even thinking about saying it to me directly.
get over your temper tantrum and say something. like grown ups do.

moving on.
today, i'm gonna talk about crowds. and how much i hate them..lol. but seriously. i went to the taste today. and i realize, i'm not a big fan. i'm short. and a lot of people aren't as short as me. so when people are pushing through trying to get that buttered corn or that turkey leg, imagine who gets trampled.. -___-
it's a terrible experience. and it was hot outside, so there was absolutely no comfort in the whole endeavor. i couldn't even eat cuz if i moved, either i would have hit people or people would have knocked my food out of my hands. in which case, i would have to fight. cuz i almost dropped my billy goat burger, and man. i don't play with billy goat's. *thug face*
also, a word of advice to the world...
when you're gonna be out and about in the streets on an occasion such as this, do NOT come out the house looking a hot ghetto ass mess. i saw soooo many things that i did not need or want to witness. but i sure as hell witnessed it anyway.
i wanted to cry today. for so many reasons.
please, world. please make it easier for people like me to enjoy an outing with my family. please.

peace and love.
stop the violence, stop the silence.
geshundheit.