Yesterday was full of discussion about relationship issues and such. I did more observing than discussing, however, because I didn't really have much to discuss in terms of my own relationship. However, after a discussion with my boyfriend and after a drunk guy tried to see my tattoo, I got to thinking about a lot of stuff. This is one of those posts where I do more airing of my thoughts and asking questions than giving my own words of wisdom to the world, I guess.
My boyfriend is apparently secretly worried that I'm going to get into something I shouldn't get into while I'm in college without him. Basically. He said, "believe it or not, you're actually very pretty," and that he trusts me, but he doesn't really trust other people. He also expressed to me that he was worried about what would happen if I wasn't in my right mind, so to speak. I assured him that I wasn't the type of person to do anything that I knew would hurt anyone else, especially him, and that I wasn't the type of person to get intoxicated out of my mind to the point where I would do something ridiculous.
Then, I started thinking about a few things. What I said was definitely true. I've always been considerate of other people's feelings. It's not even just the fact that he is my boyfriend and I do care about him. I'm just too nice of a person to want to do anything that would make someone feel bad in any way. At the same time, everyone else around me is constantly telling me to, more or less, keep my options open, including my mother and god mother. I don't really know how to "keep my options open" and at the same time not look like I'm doing this guy wrong. Sure, I'll make friends, and I don't do anything but converse with people, but is that me keeping my options open? I've gotten better at decoding people's motives, but what happens if someone that starts off as a friend tries to become something else? What do I do then, not be friends with other guys? Not really, right?
Also, I found it kinda funny that both of us are kinda worried about the same thing. We're miles upon miles away from each other. We're two crazy kids, one in high school and one in college. We don't know what the other is doing, and we don't trust other people. So we both get paranoid, even though, honestly, I feel a little more at ease knowing that he's just as concerned as I am. He says that, since I'm in college, anything could happen, from me getting into some crazy shit at a party to me just finding someone else to hang out with, I guess. And he's in high school. Who's to stay he's going to want to be in a serious relationship right now? Especially with someone that's a state away from him. It's scary. And we're both scared. But we've promised each other that we wouldn't do anything to hurt the other if we can help it.
I guess my main question is what happens if we can't help it? What if something comes up with one of us that makes the other uncomfortable or upset? I think if that happens, it'll just be a test of how serious we are about this. Like, if we break up, we break up. But if we take the time to fight it out, then maybe it's something worth fighting for.
He once told me that if I did ever cheat on him, he wouldn't break up with me. I thought that was stupid, since if he did it to me, I'd break up with him.. But it was also nice to hear him say that, because it made me feel like I was actually worth him being that stupid.
We're both stupid for each other.
I guess that's all I've got to say for now. Catch y'all tomorrow.
♥
Black History of the Day
In 1865, the 13th Amendment was ratified, abolishing slavery.
In 1868, the 14th Amendment was ratified, saying that any person born in America was an American citizen.
And, finally, in 1870, the 15th Amendment was ratified, granting every US citizen [meaning males over the age of 21] the right to vote, regardless of race or ethnic background.
Take advantage of those rights. Register to vote, and go out there and vote. :P
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